This minsitry is for those who have obbsessive, complusive
    difficulties.  It's for those who have lost nearly everything, who feel
    there is a Higher Power but can not identify with those  in church. Who would like a relationship with Christ, but not knowing how to go about it. This is all my own opinions.  I use the 12 steps of A.A. but A.A. neither endorses nor opposes any causes.

              We all have to forgive something sometime in our life. But
    the bible says in order for our Father in heaven to forgive us our sins, we must forgive others.  As the way I read the bible we are forgiven in the same way we forgive others, as well as judged the way we judge others.

              I use God the Father, God the son, and God the Holy Ghost
    to help me in my struggles, and difficulties.  I can't do it on my own.  Like I've said in other articles, I do not walk on water.  I'm just as human as anyone else.  I have failings,success's,and the in between, but I drank for 17 years.  I was a slobbering falling down drunk. I want to make that perfectly clear.  All the rotten things that goes with alcohol goes with it here. I've committed outrageous deeds and I don't want you to think I'm a goody goody because I am not.  Far from it.  But I am helped and saved by grace. (unmerited favor)

              On the way to work one morning on a path along side a lake a tender hearted woman found a poor half frozen snake.  She clutched him to her bossom, "You're so beautiful she cried!  I'll take you in and I'll take care of you."...............take me in tender woman, take me in for heaven's sakes take me in tender woman, cried the snake."

              "You bit me cried that woman!!"  "You bit me tell me why? You know your bite is poisoness and now I'm gonna die."   "Aw shutup silley woman said that reptile with a grin, you knew danged well I was a snake before you took me in."

              Now at first it would seem that I'm telling you not to go forgiving with this little story.  No I'm not saying that.  But as Christians we alot of times, I mean alot of times, keep going back and asking for more when we forgive.  We in our niativity think that because we forgave someone that we are going to join hands and flutter off in the sunset and the woods.  ...............wrong!!!

              There was a woman, and every single day at the same time
    at the same bench, under the same tree a woman would go and sit, and there was a pigeon in the tree and it would let some dandy's fly and she got hit in the head.  Now should she forgive the pigeon? Or should she decide that the pigeon is always going to be there and perhaps she should do something differant.  Now if she continually for years and years does this; this is called insanity.  It is not a virtue.  And there are alot of us that do this in our lives and call it virtue.

              So when we take them in, do their dishes, wash their clothes, cook, eat, drink and sleep with the pigeon, or the snake, or
    the silley woman under the tree...............are we not fools?  Are we really forgiving?  So that's no excuse to do like I did for years, and constantly ask God to change it when all it's going to take to change the situation is to remove ourselves from such.  I don't know how many times I have "forgiven" someone like this.  Really really bad people.

              Now like John McCaine or is it Jim McCaine  he was in a prisoner of war camp for 6 years and was beaten dayly and even he said he had to forgive the people.  So we do have to forgive as the bible says but we don't have to go and eat "potao salad" with them as Oprah says even if we have forgiven them.  Who are we to decide who God is going to use to "help" this person?  Who even says this person wants "help"?  And the first thing an alcoholic needs to survive in his little mess kit is a Patsy.  I mean it.  We use our Mother to "buy our food", or to "make the rent" because we have spent it all on alcohol, or drugs.  That's using our mother for a Patsy, and most mothers have such a tender heart bless them that they don't even know they are being used.  But used it is, because if we had to make up our own rent, regardless if we spent it all on booze or not, it would be another song we'd sing.  And I'm sure being an alcoholic we'd be singing Poor me, oh, woe is me.  Yes until we find out that our drinking doesn't work, and that when we spend all our money it's gone and there's not going to be any Santa clause to "fix" it.  No we are on our own. We find we must pay for our choices.  Every refudge has its price.

              It says in the bible to forgive a man 70 X 7.  But there's a little clause in there that we Christians like to overlook so we can go on being Patsies, and "saving the world with our goodness"  it says if a man repent, forgive him 70X7.  Now there's no way that the guards in the P.O.W. camp is going to change whether John McCaine forgives him or not. and again, we don't know that he won't either, but I'm sure that John McCaine has done more for the American people by forgiving the people, living a decent life and doing something constructive with his life, then if he'd of come home and been a bitter man, lived a  life of a druggy, hated the guards guts and lived in self pity for the rest of his life. See?

              After we've forgiven people, I don't mean petty stuff, but then we do for our own sanity have to forgive petty things as well, but if someone has really hurt you, and been unjust........we have a right for awhile to "feel our feelings" to be "hurt, and emotional about it" it's not human not to have feelings about something someone has done to us that is wrong.  And yes we have to forgive this person.  We can be angry for awhile, and even feel our anger, but we must forgive the other person.

              It's not for his bennefit.  I'm sure that there are people
    who hurt others, and when the one who is hurt gets mad and feels bad the other person is glad, and even feeds off of our negative feelings.  But according to the bible that is a requirement, we must forgive the other person.

              A.A. has a theroy, to pray for the person that has harmed you and is doing bad things to you, for a period of at least 14 days once a day, and ask for his blessings and good.  Well at first it would seem that we can't ask for that, that it's too unreal for us to pray for his good.  But the bible says when we pray for blessings on someone and they don't deserve the blessing, that it returns on your head.  And really I want to forgive the people who have harmed me, I want their good, wouldn't it be wonderful if they could become a christian, and be loving kind and forgiving like God requires of us?  So yes, I can in all honesty ask for someone else's good, even though this person has harmed me.  God rewards us for doing the right thing.

              What I'm trying in my little small way to do is show you that simply to be a christian, and forgive, and forget is not enough.  But we don't have to be John B. Doormat just because we have forgiven someone. If we are their Patsy then we are enabling this person to continue in his or her way as always.  So if I commit a crime to you, I should be held accountable, and so should the other person, that's all I'm saying.  For all of us, if we are going to dance we are going to pay the fiddler.  There are such things as eternal consequences.  And if I hurt you in a cruel and mean way I'm going to pay the price for it; do you see what I mean?

             It's for our spiritual enrichment, our own betterment that we forgive.  I'm personally not strong enough to hate someone.  Because when I hate I hate them 24 hours a day, all day and nite, and I'm just miserable just absoulutely miserable.  And I love myself too  much to hate somebody that much and ruin the rest of my life hating. It consumes me.

             When I was pregnant with my son Billy, my husband who was a practicing alcoholic went out and got another woman pregnant.  WEll she got kicked out of where she was living and so I took her in.  I was crushed because she was a little pretty woman, and all much prettier then I, and I had to put up with his constant beatings, and all that, but she had a little baby to take care of besides the one she was carrying of my husbands.  It wasn't fun, and I was very sad, and dissapointed.  But wait a minute here, her baby died when it was 16 months old, so she wasn't having such a wonderful life, living it up with my husband.  yes eventually I divorced him.  But I had to forgive him.  And he did things to me that was out rageous.  Litterally outrageous.

             But I got to thinking about it after he'd done all to me I could
    stand and I thougt and I thought for several months,how I'd like to take him out in the desert and stake him out on an ant hill and pour honey over him, or put his hand in a french fryer, because he cheated me out of my home, and my family, and I got all the blame.  Yes at one time I was a bitter angry person.  But then after I'd thought about it for a while, God says "Vengence is mine saith the Lord".  And I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I could do to him that would be satisfying to my pain, and decided......God will avenge me, and his way is perfect.  And I've lived like that ever since.  yes he stold my daughter away from me and I didn't get to see her for about 12 years, and she was mad at me
    for 30 years over it, but after the 30 years she told me one day,
    "Mother you are nearly my best friend, and I don't know why it took me 30 years to realize it?"  Well it was because she couldn't forgive me she was mad and resentful for 30 years.

              See with us all, it's a matter of choices.  We hate
    because we choose to.  We forgive because we choose to.  We live in misory because we choose to, most of us have some control over the content of our lives.  No we don't choose everything, but when I am able to work the 12 steps of A.A. and trust our Lord no matter what's comming down.  It may not be fun, but I've learned after suffering for some 30 years that God has a special plan for me, and when he's through painting the tapestry all I can do is sheep faced, and embarrised at all my negativity over the situation, when God was preparing me for some special thing that just puts me in the state of awe at the outcome.

              We are to serve one an other.  But we are not to be
    some sicko's slave either.  Only God should be our master.  Only God. Christ came as a servant for all, and we according to the bible and what God said we are not to think we have done something great just because we do our duty.  God is not a hard God but a firm and fair God, he doesn't winch when we are angry, he doesn't get intimadated at man, and his nonsense.  We are after all human.

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